‘What I’ve been scared to say publicly since attending Taylor Swift.’

The night prior to the concert, my pal (who is a HUGE Swiftie) even gave us a presentation about Taylor Swift, complete with a pop quiz at the end. So I was ready. I had my tassels and cowboy boots on; I knew what to expect, and I was eager to enjoy the show, especially after seeing footage from Melbourne and hearing people talking about it as the best night of their lives.

But what people didn’t warn me about, what the TikToks didn’t delve into, is JUST how intense and overwhelming the concert is. As someone who literally couldn’t even look up while I walked down the aisle on my wedding day, I get very overwhelmed very easily, I’m prone to panic attacks and I avoid intense situations as much as possible. 

So I know many people will read this and get cross at me because “WHAT DID YOU EXPECT, WHY DID YOU GO”. And the thing is that you often forget, and you often talk yourself out of how something felt because you’re AWARE that it’s a time you should be filled with joy, even though you’re solely full of pure panic. 

Because let me tell you what’s worse than wanting to go to something and missing out. Going to something and being riddled with negative emotions while you know you SHOULD be having the time of your life. It’s worse when you know other people would have loved to go instead of you because anyone with a shred of empathy will then have guilt on top of the panic and anxiety and overwhelm.

I feel so conflicted when people ask me what I thought because OF COURSE I appreciated the experience. Taylor hands down is the most incredible performer I’ve ever seen. The production, the athleticism, the costumes, the TALENT, she’s just incredible. But actually going was one of the most overwhelming and intense experiences of my life.