So if you happen to have beaten a world record in something – they’ll tell you they’ve done the same, twice.
3. Ignoring boundaries.
Boundaries are like kryptonite to a narcissist, Madafferi tells Mamamia.
“They need constant external validation. Part of this is having access to you constantly as a way to feed their ego when needed. If you happen to put a boundary in place, they often respond very poorly.
“For example – say in the early stages of dating, you can’t meet on a Friday night. Most people would perhaps feel disappointed, but say, ‘Okay let’s do another day instead’. But narcissists tend to demand that it go their way instead. They might say ‘I just can’t be without you for that long’ or ‘Can’t you just make Friday work?'”
This strategy might present as flattering in the moment, but in reality, it can be quite manipulative and guilt-tripping.
Blame-shifting, quite similar to gaslighting, is where one person in the relationship will avoid accountability for something they said or did, and instead deflect the fault onto their partner.
“When two people are in a relationship there’s going to be disagreements. In a healthy partnership, the pair will talk it through and resolve it like adults. Those with narcissistic traits rarely do this,” says Madafferi.
“Everyone has had that situation where they’ve raised an issue and the other person just turns it onto you every single time. The lack of taking accountability on a constant basis – that’s a big red flag.”