People born in December are superior to everyone else: A theory.

One year I was 15, and still hadn’t learned that my birthday was widely regarded as irritating, and woke up to discover there was no gift yet.

Mum got cranky because she was all like “ThErE’s So MuCh To Do NoT eVeRyThInG’s AbOuT yOu,” and then ducked out to Westfield in a tizzy. 

Point is, she came back with an unwrapped blender.

Like for milkshakes. Because I worked at Boost at the time. 

I’ve never cried so hard in my entire life. 

BUT AS A RESULT any narcissistic traits I had were beaten out of me, which is a good thing. I think (?). 

You see, people born in June truly get their own moment. They say silly things like “It’s my birthday week” or “It’s my birthday month”. They’re all like “Wanna go away for my birthday” and it’s like “Um yes I’ll also get you a hectic fckn present because I’m not buying for 47 people right now.”

December babies could never dream of such a birthday festival. 

Unlike June et. al. babies, you cannot, as a December baby, have Main Character Birthday Energy.

Not only are you not the main character in anyone else’s life in December, you’re not even the main character in your own life. Christmas, for most of us, is and always will be a bigger deal. And your family/friends have never even met Jesus!! And yet they show up for him!!!