Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: WE ARE ALL SO PROUD OF TIMOTHY.

  • The frequency in which both Jack and Tori wear shoes while on a bed upsets me
  • Jonathan as the only thing separating Jayden and Timothy in a man cuddle feels dangerous
  • And I take back everything I’ve said about Ridge’s use of the English language; “toey as a Roman sandal” is poetic 

Lucinda Light makes a spell for fun and laughs in her cauldron… so we cut to Stephen and Michael, who should definitely not be here on account of having no relationship.

But hey!

It’s time for some welcome drinks, where “what could possibly go wrong?” is the motto.

Lucinda Light talks about the unpredictability of “the wind, the elements, the earthing, a bit of the ol’ cheese platter”. I have no commentary on that, it just needed to be here.

While Jonathan and Jayden jump in the pool, with not enough of a focused camera shot for my liking, actually, Timothy grabs Sara for a chat.

And destroys his 12 remaining brain cells by whacking his head on the wall.

Thankfully, he remains conscious enough to share some gossip: Jack showed him pics of his ex to brag about how hot she is.

Yes, we do just recycle the same drama each season but at least these two have great surprise faces:

Really leaning into the bit