Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: Jayden’s moustache made some solid points.

Life comes as you fast ‘cos now it’s FEEDBACK WEEK. 

And of course, Jonathan and Lauren have been enlisted to give feedback to Jack and Tori. Big lol. 

The devil works hard but the MAFS producers work harder. 

Lauren jokes about asking whether Jack’s outfits embarrass Tori or why his pants are the wrong size. “He’s a leprechaun with a topknot that shops in the kids’ aisle,” she adds, which might be the best insult ever hurled on this show. 

Jack says that Lauren is a “nasty person”, as he fields questions from producers about referring to his fellow contestants as whales and dogs. Makes sense.  

Jonathan and Lauren arrive. Ding ding, let’s go! My body is ready! 

‘It’s what he deserves…’

But it’s all a bit… underwhelming.

Jack dodges the question of why he’s not having sex with Tori or whether their lives are compatible. 

Tori does not speak. 

She tries to answer whether Jack would be a ‘good role model’ for their hypothetical kids, but Jack butts in to confirm he’s “not a good role model”. Ugh yeah, no sh*t! 

Jack randomly announces he’s ready to have kids with Tori in two years despite these two not yet having the sex needed to produce said offspring. 

A disturbing image comes to mind of a little family of beefed-up gym rats with matching topknots. I feel ill. 

 

 

No thanks!

Richard and Andrea remind us they’re still kicking (in the experiment, not still being alive!!) by giving their Feedback Week partners a task: Timothy needs to sleep in a bed with Lucinda.

We find out that Timothy has been sleeping in his own ‘man cave’ this whole time which should be shocking but it’s so on brand for this couple that it barely registers. 

Thankfully, the couple embraces the challenge. 

“Let’s give this a go for a while!” Timothy shrugs.

Who says that romance is dead? 

The next morning, they wake up in each other’s arms and OMG I AM AUDIBLY WEEPING. 

I WOULD DIE FOR THIS COUPLE. I AM NOT OKAY. 

Jayden and Eden are paired with Tim and Sara to exchange feedback questions. Oh, fun. 

Jayden says he is triggered a “little bit by Sara,” says the man who once got revenge on a cheating partner by sexing her friend as she watched on. 

As they visit Sara and Tim, Jayden says he ‘needs scissors to cut the tension’ before he labels Sara a ‘ticking time bomb’ because she tends to explode at Tim at any given moment. 

Sara doesn’t like his accusatory vibe but I can’t focus because with this moustache, Jayden now looks like an evil aristocrat with a dark past.