From Shia LaBeouf to James Franco: This is the redemption arc starter kit for Hollywood’s ‘cancelled’ men.

Step three: The aesthetic rebrand.

Finally, while quietly beginning a lucrative new film project or two, it’s time to re-emerge – that Oscar isn’t going to win itself now, is it? This is best done with a stylistic rebrand that plays on the quirky, deeply artistic nature of the celebrity’s new and improved image. And let us not forget that displaying greys – preferably in a beard and/or at the temples, is the best way to remind people of just how much time has passed. You’re an older, wiser, less threatening version of yourself now! Let that speckled facial hair do the talking.

LaBeouf, hitting the Cannes red carpet in a tuxedo with his bleached, top-deck undercut slicked back, sported a full beard with hallmark ‘wisdom streaks’ through the front, while the formerly clean-shaven Franco appeared in shades, a beard and a hefty dose of salt-and-pepper through the whole situation. 

Pitt famously donned a skirt on the red carpet for Bullet Train (look! He’s so fun! And quirky! And non-threatening!) while Depp, walking the Cannes red carpet in 2023 for his comeback film Jeanne Du Barry, pared back his ‘modern pirate’ look to play the sensible distinguished Hollywood lead in an elegant tux and goatee.

See? That wasn’t so hard now, was it? No matter what you’ve done wrong, just remember: a few years, a few interviews and some strategically placed hit pieces on your accuser, and you too could be back earning the big bucks with impunity in no time.

Unless, of course, you’re a woman.

If you or someone you know is at risk of violence, contact: 1800 RESPECT.

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