Eva Mendes just said what all stay-at-home mums are thinking.

“Why didn’t you go with him,” wrote one user.

“Big night for Ryan! You should have been there in support, by his side!! What a beautiful memory you could have shared together,” wrote another.

It’s another layer of guilt-loading that doesn’t sit right with me. The 50-year-old was noticeably absent by his side on the big night, instead, he took along his sister, Mandi as his date. 

A source told PEOPLE the reason behind why she opted to stay at home for the big night was apparently to look after their children.

“For them, the most important job is their girls. Everything else comes second,” said the source. “Of course Eva is proud and excited for Ryan. She still sees it as a job though.”

For the notoriously private couple keeping their relationship out of the spotlight (and off the red carpet) is the best way for them to protect their family. They made this decision early on in her pregnancy and they have stayed true to it ever since.

“Whether we like it or not, privacy is going to be very difficult for Esmeralda. I think it’s unfair but that’s our reality. So Ryan and I decided early on to give her as much privacy as we could. And my pregnancy was the first opportunity to give her that,” she said in an interview with Violet Grey in 2014.

“It’s such an intimate time for the mother, too. I know that it seems all very innocuous when you’re flipping through a tabloid at the doctor’s office or see a photo of a pregnant lady online, but I find the media’s ‘bump watch’ obsession to be both intrusive and stressful. So I made a decision to eject myself from it completely. I was like, ‘Annnnd I’m out’,” she said.